A Thorn in Your Side
by Tokyo Express
Summary: Kirk, The Knight of Thorns is a busy man. Killing his opponents. Gathering Humanity for the Fair Lady. Kirk is a busy man and he's feeling slightly murderous.
1. Chapter 1

_**A Thorn in Your Side**_

In the filthy sewers that many undead knew as the Depths, Kirk, Knight of Thorns, was in deep thought.

Thinking is all he ever did now. He thought of ways to retrieve Humanity for the Fair Lady and to satisfy his bloodlust. It had been days since he last fought a good opponent. It was even longer since trying to find an opponent who, he could steal Humanity from. It had been too long. So absorbed in his own thoughts, he barely heard the bolt flying straight at his head.

The Knight of Thorns barely dodged the arrow as it was implanted in the sewer water in front of him. Picking himself off the ground, he turned to face his assailant or assailants in this case.

He saw three of them; A knight from Astora with his long sword at ready, a fat man in leather armor wielding a battle axe, and a ragged looking boy reloading his crossbow. The knight was in charge.

The knight was looking right at Kirk. He said, "Most impressive, as expected from a knight such as yourself".

_He knows who I am? , _The Knight of Thorns thought to himself.

"The stories I've heard about you were most impressive. The bounty on your head is even better". The knight explained.

Kirk couldn't help but feel curious now, "Stories? Bounty? Explain yourself." he questioned.

The knight began to smirk, "Knight Kirk, after slaying a cleric from the house of Thorolund, draws his own sword on his fellow knights as they attempt to bring him before the Church. After mercilessly murdering those brave knights, you kill your own wife and offspring, burn you home down, and then you flee to Lordran in hopes of escape, sound familiar now you damned heretic?!" he sneered.

_I remember now, _Kirk thought as he remembered those moments.

"I intend to bring the Church your head and collect the reward", the knight remarked, his grin spreading even wider.

Kirk drew his sword, the barbs on it creating a grinding noise as he pulled it out of his sheath. The fat man and the boy looked visibly intimidated. The appearance of his armor was already quite scary, but seeing his sword and all its barbs was terrifying. His sword was used to maim, scar, and brutally kill his opponents.

The knight started to step back, looked at his two companions and screamed "Kill him!"

_Coward, sending others to fight in his place_, Kirk thought bitterly.

The fat charged first, his boots splashing in the sewage water as he came closer to Kirk. With a sudden battle cry, the fat man brought his raised his axe above Kirks head and swung down.

The Thorn Knight sidestepped as the fat man brought his axe down, swinging his sword horizontally and catching the man's unprotected stomach. With a shriek, the fat man fell to his knees while holding his stomach. Grinning wildly, Kirk began to advance on the downed man, only for a bolt to fly past him.

With a growl, he turned to the boy who fired at him. Kirk began to charge, while the boy was frantically trying to reload. Too late. Kirk tackled the boy and with a mad cackle he brought his sword down in a series of slashes.

***Splat**!*

The boy's arm is severed, leaving a pool of blood in the water. The boy is screaming in pain.

***Splat**!*

Left leg below the knee is torn vertically in to two pieces, the bone jutting out of the exposed meat. His scream turning into a shriek.

***Swish**!*

The boy is missing his head above the jaw, his barely visible tongue from underneath all the blood. His shrieking stops, turning into a barely audible gurgling sound.

The Knight of Thorns examines his grizzly work, pleased with himself. The boy is long dead. He turns to the injured fat man. The man is desperately trying to crawl away. Kirk takes a quick glance at the knight.

_He isn't even helping, he'll pay dearly._

_" _You monster... Get away from me!" The fat man screams, tears falling out of his eyes. His pleas for mercy fall on deaf ears, the Knight of Thorns is not a forgiving person.

Turning back to the fat man, he sees that he's nearly drowning in the shit filled water of the Depths as he tries to crawl away. With a quick stab into the fat mans lower spinal cord, he stops the man's legs from moving. Bring his sword up in swift slash upward, he effectively kills the fat man.

_Two down, and now for this coward, _Kirk thinks as he turns to face the knight.

The knight is still smirking, not even drawing his sword. Just standing there, looking at Kirk.

"Well done, but this isn't over." he remarked.

"Is that so?" Kirk shot back.

The man didn't answer, he kept glancing behind Kirk. Realization dawned on him as he figured out what it meant. With a burst of sudden energy, Kirk turned around and raised his shield just as the first blow came.

_So there was another one… How many henchmen does this so called knight have?_

He examined his opponent a woman in black leather armor, her black eyes glaring at him. Her face hidden by a black cloth. An assassin. He glanced back at the knight, only to see he was long gone.

_Buying himself more time to escape is he now? _The Knight of Thorns thought bitterly.

Turning back to the woman, Kirk examined her weapon.

_A knife, eh?_

She knew how to use it, problem was her range. She was getting too close to Kirks spiked armor. Something she would pay dearly for. With a sudden kick by Kirk she fell to the ground, bleeding from the thorns. She was back onto her feet quickly only to be rammed into a wall by Kirk. Blood coming out of her mouth from the impact.

Kirk was merciless. She was backed into the wall, desperately trying to block and counter his blows to no avail. Suddenly with a vicious swing of his sword, Kirk sliced her hand off.

With a scream she dropped her knife, clutching her stump. A fatal mistake. With sudden surge of strength, Knight Kirk slammed his spiked shield into her, the spike place themselves in her chest, her throat, and her skull. At the moment of impact, her blood was splattered over Knight Kirk's armor. She slumped to the ground. Dead.

After several moment of standing over her body, Knight Kirk began to laugh. An unhinged, mad laugh, a laugh for all rights belonged to a mentally unstable man. His addiction to uncontrolled violence started act up again, screaming for him to take his sword and search for a fight. That cowardly knight was going to be his first victim.

**Tell me what you think. I need feedback to improve this, as I know this is riddled with errors. I also require a beta. Thank you for your cooperation.**

**-**_**Tokyo Express**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**The Depths**_

Knight Joseph of Astora was exhausted, running in heavy armor was tiring. He fell on his knees, taking in the smell of the sewage water. It made him want to throw up. Looking down, he saw his once shining armor was now stained brown. He pushed himself up off the ground and using the slimy walls as support, he began to move. His plan to kill the infamous Knight of Thorns failed. His colleagues were dead and mutilated by the Knight of Thorns. With the stories he heard back at home about the particular knight, he knew he wouldn't be able to take him head on. It wasn't he doubted his own abilities with his sword; it was just the way the stories painted that man.

The man was unbelievably brutal when fighting. He was also considered dishonorable by many of the knights in Astora. Knight Kirk would attack when you least expect him, stab you in the back, bring firebombs into a sword fight, kick you when you were down, and he enjoyed every second of it. The man was insane. He was constantly challenging other nobles to duels and killing them after he won. He cared very little about anything else; all he wanted was a good fight and a corpse to follow after. Joseph could not accept such a man as being a knight. The man had destroyed Joseph's opinion on knights, nobility that served to protect the kingdom with their armor provided a symbol of strength to the peasants. The Knight of Thorns only served himself, only fought for his own pleasure. Therefore he hired a band of three mercenaries to eliminate that knight, and then collect the gold after bringing the church his head. Question was how would he do so?

_There has to be a way…_

Back in Astora, Joseph proclaimed very loudly at a feast to other nobles that he would bring back Kirk's head. They just laughed at him. Knight Kirk was easily one of the more skilled knights in Astora, he fought in many wars. Joseph was only a lowly knight, his own estate was small when compared to the others. With their laughs and jeers only serving as fuel to motivate him, Joseph departed for Lordran, with the intent of bringing down the Knight of Thorns.

What a mistake that was.

_**With Knight Kirk **_

For hours Kirk had been walking through the sewage, searching for that knight. The smell was horrendous, only serving to increase his irritation levels. The occasional hollows and rats he found only alleviated his boredom for short amounts of time. His spiked sword tearing though their flesh and killing them. They died too quickly, only squealing in pain before he ended their pitiful existence.

_I wonder how long I can make that knight scream for? _Kirk thought as a wicked smile found its way on to his face.

That knight ran away in hopes of escape when Kirk slaughtered his little pawns. With a sigh, Kirk found himself frowning. When he was younger, the knights he grew up knowing had been more ferocious, more eager for blood, more willing to die in battle. But as time passed, war began to become much more rare. The nobility became more concerned more with their appearance and other petty things than their ability to fight. They were willing to lead from the rear, rather than fighting on the field with their troops. Many would call Kirk a relic from ancient times, a bloodthirsty warmonger. He cared little for their opinions.

_They all died the same._ He chuckled to himself. Remembering he had killed many of them himself. They all died calling him a demon, a murderer, and a heretic to the Church. He never put much faith in the Gods, only himself.

The Knight of Thorns was turning a corner when he heard it. A roar, a roar from a creature he recognized, the giant rat that made its home by the waterfall leading down to the lower levels of the sewers. He also heard armor clanking, footstep splashing in the water, and the sound of sword being swung.

_That knight seems to found himself into big trouble. _Kirk thought to himself. With a mad grin on his face, the Knight of Thorns began to run towards the sounds.

Joseph couldn't believe his luck.

He almost made his way back up to the surface, only to driven down a hole by a pack or feral hounds. He hit the water with a loud splash. The water staining his armor a dark brown color. Most likely feces. He began to examine his surroundings; he was in a large room, the water flowing down a drop off point, creating a waterfall. Then he saw it. A giant rat, growling at him. Joseph was frozen in place, he had never faced something like this before. Suddenly, regaining his senses, Joseph drew his sword and raised his shield in its defensive position.

The rat let out roar, the roar caused the water to move faster towards him. Knight Joseph of Astora is struggling to keep his place in the suddenly strong currents. Suddenly the rat charges him, splashing the sewage water in his face, and then the rat swings it paw, throwing him into a wall.

The Knight coughs up blood, bright crimson spilling on his helmet. Dents form in his armor, breaking a rib or two. He sees the giant rat charging him again. He's out of breath, but finds the energy to raise his sword, stabbing the creature. It lets out a cry of pain and in its rage, it uses it paws to smack him back into the water.

He's drowning. Knight Joseph is drowning in the brown, filthy waters of a sewage system. His energy depleted. He is unable to get up, the water found its way into his already heavy armor, weighing him down. He lies there, watching as the giant rat get ready rip him in two pieces.

But it doesn't. Instead he hears a shriek. Opening his eyes, he sees a figure on the rat's head. A figure in dark armor, slashing away at its head. Bits and pieces of rotten flesh and brain matter come off the rats head come off with each swing. The water distorts his hearing, but he can hear something. It sounded like someone was laughing.

_No… It can't be…_

Realization hit him hard, he recognized the laugh. It was the Knight of Thorns. His energy is renewed, adrenaline pumping him. Joseph shoots up out of the water to see Kirk jumping off the dead rats head, walking towards him, chuckling.

Knight Joseph begin to run, only to trip face first in the water, swallowing some of it. The water was foul, he doubles over trying to cough it out. Valuable escape time wasted. A hand grabs his should pulling him up. In panic, Joseph reaches for his sword, only for the Knight of Thorns to grab his arm in a bone crushing grip. He tries to break free, but is rewarded with a viscous kick to the stomach, followed by a punch to the face. The thorns on Kirks armor leave small holes in Josephs armor, blood is pouring out of the holes. Knight Joseph is on the ground, blood stains his armor, and shit infested water leaking out of his armor. His sword arm is broken from the Knight of Thorns grip, crushed and bent at an unnatural angle. He is defeated.

Suddenly he is lifted up by his throat and brought face to face with the Knight of Thorns. His head almost touching his spiked helmet.

"End of the line boy." Kirk growls at him.

With that Kirk plunges his sword into Josephs stomach, the spike causing him to scream. Kirk drags the sword upward; meeting resistance at the sword cleaves through the ribcage. His heart and lung are exposed. The Knight of Thorns withdraws the from Josephs chest, blood splashes over him, creating a terrible visage.

With Knight Joseph still in his grip, Kirks drags him to the drop off where the waterfall was and drops him.

The Knight of Thorns watches intently as the body hits the water below. The boy is still alive, but just barely moving. Kirk threw him down there for a reason though.

_Basilisks, any second now. _Kirk thought to himself.

Then they came. The giant eyed creature spewed there gas on the boy. The Knight of Thorns couldn't help but laugh as the knight body began to solidify, a grey stone. The knight was forever cursed in that form. He would never truly die. Well at least until someone undid his curse or someone destroyed his statue. Even if the knight did become cured, he wouldn't survive. Kirk made sure of that by the damage he inflicted.

The Knight of Thorns was ecstatic now, he wanted more combat. So he took out the Cracked Eye Orb he stole from some undead and crushed it. He needed another fight. He wanted to kill!

Suddenly he felt it, the orb had found someone. He felt his presence leave his world and be transferred to another. Someone is going to die and he knew it. He felt sorry for whichever bastard ended up fighting him.

**Chapter 2 is complete. I require feedback so I may make improvements.**

**I also require a beta.**

**Thank you for your cooperation.**

**-**_**Tokyo Express**_


	3. Chapter 3

**I made a few small changes to Chapter 1. The Knight of Thorns is not infected with the Darksign, instead I made his crime the murdering of a cleric from Thorolund. I'm sorry if these changes disappoint any of you, but having Kirk as a living human rather than an undead will serve me a little better in later chapters. Now on to the story.**

He could feel it, the utter wrongness of it. The Chosen Undead looked at his companions and he judged by the grim look on their faces that they felt it also. The barriers between worlds had been broken. His world had just been invaded. The torches illuminating the walls flickered making the area noticeably darker and the temperature dropped a few degrees sending a chill down their spines. The trio moved into a tighter formation and without a word spoken, they advanced further down the sewers. The Chosen Undead was grateful for the presence of his two phantom companions. Any conflict now would be much easier thanks to them. He glanced to the white phantom on his left. The woman was a pyromancer from the Eastern Lands. By all means she was considerably beautiful, her sharp features and black hair stood out. She had proven herself very skilled when clearing though waves of undead hordes. Her sword was what caught his attention the most; it was single edged blade that was unbelievably sharp and fast.

He sent a glance to his companion on his right side. It was a sorcerer from Vinheim. The man was old, the wrinkles on his face and his gray hair proved it. His spells however were extremely useful when facing more powerful and stronger foes. The Chosen Undead was proud he found such companions. Together they would be more than capable of defeating the intruder. He hoped so.

_**Knight of Thorns**_

Kirk, the Knight of Thorns emerged from a portal in the sewage. Water was dripping down his armor when he emerged, his red phantom form making the water around him appear blood red. He surveyed his surroundings. He was in a room filled with slain rats, their mangled bodies lying in the water around him.

_My target has already been through here… Time to go hunting, _Kirk thought to himself.

With that final thought, Kirk began running. He needed to find them quick; he would not allow them to escape.

_**Chosen Undead**_

The Chosen Undead and his companions were preparing an ambush. A simple one, but if applied correctly they would be able to quickly eliminate the intruder. The sorcerer knew the chameleon spell and with it he transformed into a box and the eastern pyromancer hid behind the "box". Meanwhile the Chosen Undead would stand in the open, distracting the invader and forcing their attention on him, while his two phantoms would attack the invaders rear.

Suddenly he saw the intruder approaching him. It was a man in intimidating armor. The intruder's armor was covered in thorns. They were all over him, even his sword and shield had them. It was terrifying sight to behold, you couldn't even get close to the man without the risk of getting stabbed. The man was charging him with his sword and shield. Once the man in thorn armor was in range, he gave the signal to his companions.

**Knight of Thorns**

The Knight of Thorns finally found his target. His target was a knight, one of the more elite knights from Astora. His armor was decorated more so than the last knight he fought. This would be challenge, a worthy opponent. Kirk charged his target.

_Perhaps I can make him scream, _The Knight or Thorns thought to himself with a wide grin.

Suddenly his prey raised his arm and made closed his fist. Curiosity caused Kirk to slow his charge, a grave mistake on his part, one that cost him dearly. He felt a suddenly felt an excruciating pain in his chest. There was a sword sticking out of his chest. He coughed out blood, it stained the inside of his helmet.

_Damn it! How could I be so careless? _He thought bitterly to himself.

He felt more pain, the sword was being pulled out of his chest. Sheer anger was all the Knight of Thorns felt, a murderous, black rage consumed him. With one hand he reached out and grabbed the sword, stopping it from exiting his body. With his other hand he took his spiked sword and swung it horizontally behind him. His attacker let go of their sword and dodged his vicious sword swing. When he turned around he was knocked down by a Heavy Soul Arrow. His body made a giant splash when it hit the water. When he looked up he saw his assailant; an old sorcerer in a black robe wielding a catalyst and an eastern woman with a giant fireball. A fireball that she threw at him, creating a giant explosion.

The heat was intense, the water doing nothing to ease it. His armor was burning, he was being cooked from inside his own armor. The amount of rage he was feeling was indescribable. The fireball created an orange/red mist around him. The woman began approaching him, presumably to retrieve her sword, the knight and sorcerer following closely behind. When she was in arms reach, The Knight of Thorns emerged out of the searing hot haze left behind from the fireball and took the woman by the throat, lifting her off the ground. She let out a scream as his hot armor started to burn her skin off.

"This is the end of you!" The Knight of Thorns yelled at the woman. Kirks arms moving in position to snap her neck. She realized what was about to happen and she began struggling, much to the pleasure of Knight of Thorns. Her comrades realized to as the knight began running toward them and the sorcerer was getting ready to fire off another Soul Arrow. They were too late, Kirk's arm found the other side of her head and with a sudden twist, followed by a very audible snap the woman fell in the sewage water with her neck twist at an unnatural angle. She began to fade and her body was gone.

**Feedback would be appreciated. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorite, and followed. **

**I'll being updating this when I get the chance.**

**-**_**Tokyo Express**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews everyone. **

**Joe- That sounds great. I would love the combat theory.**

**Does anyone know if I would be able to use Google Docs to upload stories? **

Kirk, the Knight of Thorns watched the female pyromancer fade away with a wild grin on his face. She was only a phantom, thus she really didn't die, but it was satisfying for him to score a kill.

_One pest down, two more to go_, he thought to himself.

Kirk faced his other two targets. They were both glaring at him, the sorcerer was at least, it was hard to tell with the knight as his helmet was covering his face. The Knight of Thorns didn't have enough time to thoroughly observe his prey as the sorcerer fired another spell at him. He easily sidestepped the incoming spell, only for a wave of pain to spread across his chest area. He had no time to observe as the knight came charging at him going for an overhead swing aimed at his head. Kirk blocked it time only for another burst of pain to sear across his chest. Then he realized it.

_That woman… when she stabbed me... hehe even in death she proves to be a pain, _Kirk thought bitterly to himself.

In his rage, he managed to suppress the pain. Now that the person who caused it was gone, his rage faded only for pain to return. The stab wound hurt, even while he was in his phantom form. Then suddenly the knight continued his assault. Kirk was pushed back by the knight's unrelenting attacks. The Knight of Thorns had no time to counter attack his foes. Every opening he found in the knight's offensive was covered by the sorcerer. The Knight of Thorns was running out of time, he was bleeding out, the world was slowly getting blurrier. His instincts he honed overtime from long years of war screamed at him to continue fighting, to continue engaging the knight in a long drawn out battle. His reason and logic dictated that he look for the quickest possible way to end the battle. Logic and reason were arguing in his head against his warrior instincts on how to proceed. A viscous war was being waged in his mind to dictate his actions.

_To stand and fight a hopeless battle is a foolish way to die, better to retreat,_ Kirks logic dictated.

_To retreat in is the way of a COWARD! To live, to fight, and to die in the glory of battle is the way of a TRUE warrior,_ his warrior instinct argued back.

_To die now would be counterproductive to our current objective. You know damn well that the Fair Lady needs this humanity. To continue fighting these two in such a state would mean the loss of everything we strived for when they kill us. , _Logic replied back.

_The Fair Lady this, Fair Lady that! That damn abomination can go die in-_

_ENOUGH! , _Kirk thought to himself.

The loss of blood was causing him hallucinate, causing his mind to rip itself into two pieces. He would not allow that to happen. The Knight of Thorns knew his purpose; his purpose was to gather humanity for the Fair Lady, nothing more and nothing less.

Kirk made his decision, he would continue this battle. He knew figured out how to achieve victory. Turning his thoughts to the battle, he realized he was having trouble breathing. Every move he made felt like it expended almost all of his energy. He knew his plan and he would stick with it. With every swing of his foes sword, Kirk was driven back one step at a time. Finally Kirk was driven back against the wall. He could feel its slimy surface rubbing against his armor. He had to enact his plan now.

Kirk carefully blocked his opponent attacks, waiting for the moment to strike. Then suddenly he saw it. The knight drew back his sword for a powerful horizontal strike. At that moment Kirk parried the knight's swing. His shield throwing his opponent sword to the ground. He finally had his opening and he would take it.

With a triumphant grin on his face, the Knight of Thorns thrust his barbed sword into his opponents unprotected shoulder. He ran his blade right through his opponent collar bone, snapping it in half and sending splinters everywhere. He was able to see the bone sticking out beneath the chainmail. The Knight of Thorns was far from finished, he brought his sword down horizontally, cutting through the ribcage and finally tearing through the stomach. His opponent was nearly bisected diagonally, being held together by a thin lump of flesh and meat. It wasn't a clean cut.

He didn't observe his enemy's corpse for long. He still had one prey left.

Turning to face the old sorcerer, Kirk growled "Time to die old man"

Kirk began limping to the old man, his vision and hearing fading slightly. He lost too much blood, any longer and he would collapse and die. The old man began charging a spell, but the Knight of Thorns would not let him finish. Before the old man could even react, Kirk shoved his sword in the man's throat, tearing apart his esophagus. The sorcerer dropped his catalyst, blood dripping out of his mouth. Gripping his sword with both hands, Kirk brought his sword up in an upward slash. The barbed sword shattering part of the man's spinal cord and slicing his head in half vertically. Victory.

The Knight of Thorns fell to his knees, waiting to be brought back to his own world. It never came.

_What is going on? I should be sent back at this point. , _Kirk thought to himself.

Then cold realization stuck him; his opponent wasn't dead. His head snapped back in time to see the knight guzzle a bottle of Estus down his throat. In a morbid fascination, Kirk watched his opponents body reassemble itself. He could see the bone repairing, organs return to their previous state, and flesh reattaching itself to the body. It was equally horrifying as it was amazing. His opponent was standing upright again, defying all logic and reason. Kirk's mind began tearing itelf apart again.

_You damned fool! You should have made sure he was dead! The signs pointing him to be an undead were everywhere! His endurance, the phantoms, his presence in Lordran! Now we we're all going to die! , _Logic screamed in Kirks mind.

_NO! This is what we've been waiting for, finally a foe worth fighting! , _Instinct raved back.

_Fool, the Fair Lady is much more import than your primitive urges, _Logic retorted.

_Calm yourself, _The Knight of Thorns thought to himself.

He would not let himself fall apart. With discipline honed from years of warfare, the Knight of Thorns readied himself. He was exhausted, but that wouldn't faze him. He stood up just in time to see the knight charging him.

Two sword wielded by two armored knights fought in the sewage system of Lordran. The Knight of Thorns was savage, every swing blocked sent the other knight a step back. The sounds of two sword clashing echoed down the halls of The Depths. Both sides locked in a deadly stalemate. Suddenly Kirk charged and tackled the other armored man. With his opponent on the ground, the Knight of Thorns raised his sword to deliver the killing blow. He was too slow. The pinned knight recovered and stabbed Kirk on his exposed neck, then kicked him off.

The Knight of Thorns dropped both his sword and shield, he was lying in the water clutching his neck.

_Damn it all! This can't be the end… _The Knight of Thorns thought bitterly to himself.

_**Chosen Undead**_

It was indeed the end. The Chosen Undead raised his sword and plunged it into the invader's chest. That did it, his intruder began to fade. The battle was over. The Chosen Undead won.

**This is not the end. In the next chapter I'll probably go more in depth into Kirk's relations with the Fair Lady and the Chaos Covenant. I'm not sure if I'll continue Kirk's Instinct and Logic. I'll also probably try to flesh out his character a little more by going into details with his background. Thank you everyone for the support.**

**-**_**Tokyo Express**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Joe**- I recommend you create an account. It is much easier to communicate with someone over PM's rather than putting them in the forward of a chapter.

**alone in the blight**- That thing you asked of me is almost complete. I should have more time to look over it now that I have this chapter.

* * *

A dark portal opened in the dark sewage system known as The Depths. The brown water parted ways as a dark looming figure emerged out of it. The tunnels surrounding the figure were dark, the torches placed around the walls barely held the surrounding darkness at bay. The torched flickered as the figure completely emerged of the portal, submerging the area in utter blackness for a brief moment.

The figure in dark armor stood completely upright, not a sound could be heard save for the small rats running along the walkways. The silence was suddenly shattered as the figure hit the ground, creating a huge splash as he fell into the water.

Kirk, The Knight of Thorns laid in the water, thankfully it was shallow water but he could still feel it as it coursed through his hair and down his neck. He didn't care the water itself was carrying brown sludges of shit, half decomposed rat corpses, and all other sorts of filth. His energy was too low for him to care. The Knight of Thorns felt like he was dead, his muscles would not obey his commands to move.

He was a human. A human capable of traversing the fabrics of time and space due to a couple stolen Red Eye Orbs. That was the point though, he was a human using an ability that was better suited for an undead. The ability required him to out his humanity at risk, something for someone who was not undead to be extremely dangerous. His humanity was not expendable. Dying in someone else's world could mean death in his own world. Thankfully this was the first time he was ever killed. The effects shouldn't be that bad.

Kirk felt like his very organs were being torn from the inside and being rearranged in different place. It felt as something was trying to remove everything from him. Suddenly he was unconscious as the the pain intensified to an unbelievable degree.

* * *

The Knight of Thorns awoke lying in cold sewage water. He could hear multiple feat splashing in the water around him, he opened his eyes only to come face to face with a huge undead rat. It's decomposed face staring into his helmet, except it had no eyes. Half of it's face still had skin attached to it. The other half was a yellow stained skull cracked right below the eye socket, bits of grey fur stuck in the cracks.

The Knight of Thorns rested his hand on his sword, he had a strong, firm, grip. His body still ached so he had to kill this thing fast.

_Just a little closer...'_ He thought to himself. The thing was still out of his reach, but at least it thought he was dead.

The undead rat was finally in distance of his weapon. Without a moments hesitation, he drew his sword and brought it horizontally on the eye sockets.

Bone and rotten flesh flew off. The Knight of Thorns pressed his sword in deeper and cut through the things decaying brain, then finally tore through the backside of it's skull. The top portion of its head was floating down the sewage tunnel. The rat fell to the ground with a heavy thud. The Knight of Thorns let out a sigh of relief. He refused to be killed by an overgrown rat.

His body still ached, but not to the intensity it had before. He would still be able to move. Using the wall as support, he picked himself up and began walking. The thorns on his arms tearing through the brown slime on the sewage walls. The armor on his body and the skin underneath was wet from the sewage water. He could see small clumps of brown shit on his pauldrons massive spikes.

" What a fucking disgrace...", he grumbled to himself.

He would have to clean it off later. The Knight of Thorns cared little for outward appearance, but having blobs of shit on your armor was just wrong to him.

"Hehe maybe I can suffocate my foes to death with the stench" Kirk said to himself.

The thought of that amused him greatly. He could visualize himself running around Astora with feces on his armor, while the other knights attempted to kill him. In the end they all suffocated due to the horrendous stench. The modern knights of Astora were pampered brats, he doubted they even knew what there own blood smelled like.

The smell of shit this close was not pleasant. Combined with whatever whatever other foul things it could have contacted in the sewage system made the smell worse. It took all the years of experience for him not to empty out his stomach's contents.

After an hour of walking, the Knight of Thorns reached his destination, the gate leading to Blightown. What little inhabitants resided in the Depths barricaded the gates. None of them wanted the abominations from the plague infested town entering their home. It was a wise choice by them, however it only provided more obstacles for him. Now he had take tear them down.

One thing disturbed him though. The barricades were more well paced than usual. It wasn't the usual piling of whatever was nearby he associated with the rats or whatever other animals acting on instinct.

He noticed metal bars were place in between the handles. Heavier object were blocking the gates also.

_The rats shouldn't be able to block the handle, they don't even possess the strength to move these heavy blocks and tables... _He thought to himself.

Kirk figured a human or some other intelligent being had blocked the door. Then he heard them.

" My my, he seems confused, perhaps we should help him?" a voice to his left said. The Knight of Thorns followed the sound of the voice.

Kirk could make out two dark figures on the walkway. One was sitting and the other was standing, but he couldn't see their features in the dark. He put his hand on his sword in case he need it.

" Aye siwmae, I never expect to meet to people down here. Our friend seems to have noticed us." Said the figure sitting down, his voice carried a friendly tone.

"We mean you no harm sir, do you require assistance?", The standing figure declared, stepping into the light.

The Knight of Thorns took in the man's features. He was a knight. His helmet had a red feather sticking out, while his shoulder were covered with green leather. His chest was decorated with the image of shining sun. His legs were covered with plate mail with chain mail underneath. Kirk looked at the man's gear. His shield was round and had the same image of a shining sun. His sword was sheathed on his side.

After a moment of silence, the man spoke again.

" Forgive me, how rude of me not to introduce myself. My name is Solaire, Solaire of Astora."

_**-Tokyo Express**_

_Fade_ will continue once I work out a few details of the story.

_A Thorn in Your Side_ will resume. I'll post chapter for either story whenever.

* * *

A special thanks to my friends in the Imperium if you guys read this.

I hope your FIRST director of **_The Office of Imperial Intelligence_** ( hahaha I got it!) did not fail you bastards, I made this just so you could see. ;) Ave Imperium. Ave Irken.


	6. Ruins

Thorn in Your Side.6

Joe- I see. Not a problem then.

ParagonEmil- thanks you sir.

Thanks all other who reviewed.

* * *

Knight Solaire of Astora warily watched the man in front of him. The said man was covered in armor. All over him, thorns protruded out his helmet and and shoulder pauldrons. His arms and legs had some sort of dark metal vines raped around them, sharp thorns also protruding out of them. Knight Solaire tried to peer beneath the mans helm to inspect his face, but to no avail. The slits on his helmet were black voids.

The Warrior of Sunlight sniffed the air. A strong stench greeted him, it was horrible. The air in the sewage was already horrendous, but in the presence of this man it was much worse. Looking at him again, Solaire saw why. Blobs of brown shit was present on him, some where impaled by the thorns on his armor. Beneath some of the brown blobs, small dark yellowish stains escaped under the brown. It was disgusting.

Despite this, Solaire still felt the need to exercise extreme caution around the man. He was unsure why but the man in front of him seem familiar. Very familiar. Solaire wasn't so sure he liked that. The man in front of him appeared injured though. He was limping and using the dark walls around them as support. He was certain he had the upper hand.

* * *

Behind the Warrior of Sunlight, Domnhall of Zena also watched the limping man from his sitting position. Behind his helm, Domnhall began to smirk slightly.

_Another potential customer perhaps? Hmm I could probably make a fine trade with him._

Domnhall cared little for the actual appearance of the man in intimidating thorn armor, he only cared about getting a nice trade. He rarely ever met people in the sewage system. Having two people down here made him ecstatic. After inspecting the two knights in front of him, he realized that the two seemed to be complete opposites.

Knight Solaire was an example of a knight in shining armor. Literally. His sun inspired armor was grossly incandescent. Domnhall could see the man coming just by his bright armor. He had to admit though. Solaire was helpful, he helped him properly block the gate to Blighttown.

The other knight however was different. While Domnhall had not seen any of the mans actions, his appearance already put him on the other end of the spectrum from Solaire. The knight's armor was nearly black. Sharp spikes and thorns jutted out of the mans armor. Overall he had a sinister appearance.

Perhaps he would be a sinister person? That was yet to be seen.

* * *

The Knight of Thorns stared at the knight of in front of him. He recognized him. The man was Knight Solaire of Astora. The man in front of him was legendary, his swordsmanship was said to be unmatched. In his injured state, Kirk would not be able to resist if this man decided to become hostile to Kirk.

It would be for good reason though. The Knight of Thorns was well known in the kingdom after he committed his crimes. Most who came after him came for the reward or simple vengeance. Although whoever came after him never came back though. Each and every attempt failed. It wouldn't be the case today if Solaire recognized him.

Thankfully he didn't seem to recognize him.

_Perhaps I can just talk my way out of this one... I need to get back to the Fair Lady, back to Chaos._

He glance at the gate again. It was still blocked by heavy tables, stones and other junk that managed to get in the sewage system. It would be awhile before he could successfully move it. Time he may not have. He had to think quickly.

The Knight of Thorns realized the two beings were staring at him. He still had not answered Solaire's question. Knight Solaire began to wave his hand in Kirks face. A maneuver that usually resulted in the offender losing their arm. Kirk wasn't about to try it on Solaire. He still had to respond.

'I'm sorry, I was lost in thought." He lied through his teeth. His voice came out gravelly with a harsh undertone. He hoped Solaire would not recognize his voice.

He didn't.

"That is quite alright friend. You appear injured, may we be of some assistance?" Solaire responded happily. That was another thing Kirk knew about Solaire; he was always in a cheerful mood.

Before Kirk could respond the figure sitting down spoke.

"Aye we could be of a lot of assistance, why don't you check out my wares? All for a cheap price of course!" The other figure said as he emerged out of the shadows.

His appearance was bizarre. His helm was completely yellow with two horns protruding outward, along with two small eye holes beneath a pair of spectacle covering them. He had gold medallions hanging around his neck and a small dagger on his chest. His leggings were green and he had brown pointed boots. Kirk had seen many strange clothing in his life, but this was just overbearing.

If Solaire wasn't present, he would have gutted the man just for being a sore to his eyes.

With a small growl Kirk replied "I'm fine, both of you. I was just on my way to down to Blighttown. Unfortunately this gate is barricaded."

Silence followed after Kirk spoke. The two men in front of them took a moment to glance at each other.

Finally the figure with horned helmet spoke.

"You want to go down to that plague infested hellhole? You my friend are on the verge of lunacy. We just finished putting this barricade up to keep those things out!"

Solaire also spoke.

"Indeed whatever your reasoning are for going down there are, I'm afraid we can't let you go this way."

The Knight of Thorns let out a small growl in frustration. He was close to drawing his sword. Reason was slowly fading away. He did not come all the way up to the surface, only to be denied his access back down.

Thankfully Solaire was able to halt his growing frustrations.

"However I am aware of another route down if you wish. Just follow me." The Warrior of Sunlight calmly explained.

The Knight of Thorns weighed his options. He knitted his eyebrows close together on deep thought. He could either try and most likely fail to force his way through or he could follow Solaire on another route which would take more time. He made his decision.

"Fine show me your secret route." He replied still frustrated, but at least he wasn't in a wild, black rage.

Solaire seemed delighted. With a wave of his arm, Solaire motioned for Kirk to follow him. He did, nodding a farewell to the man in the horned helm.

* * *

After an a few hours of walking, the duo walked out of The Depths, fought hordes of hollows in the Undead Burg, found relief in the safe zone of the Firelink Shrine, and finally found themselves standing on the outskirts of the ruins of New Londo.

Solaire took a moment to stop by a nearby cliff and peer at the city. Most likely taking a moment to pay respect to the inhabitants who died long ago. Kirk however collapsed on a nearby staircase. He was exhausted from the invasion. His body still ached. Particular his chest and throat. Was this how it usually felt?

Beneath his helmet, the Knight of Thorns peered at Solaire's exposed back.

_ One stab is all it takes... Hehe or just one push and he can become one with the deceased._ Kirk thought to himself.

The man in front of him was responsible for leading him on this long journey. Something Kirk was not happy with. A small grin found itself spreading across his face, if his helmet was not covering his face, Kirks teeth would be visible from across the dead city.

Suddenly Solaire turned back to him. He was done paying respect to the fallen.

_Damn, I guess you don't die today.._. Kirk thought to himself bitterly.

Solaire finally stopped in front of him. Kirk realized that the man was fairly large. Not huge, but his figure put him at least a head above most others.

"My friend, I'm afraid I must leave you. I placed a sign back in The Depths. I'm afraid someone has activated it and I must answer it's call."

Without waiting for a response, Solaire continued speaking. He pointing toward a nearby tower.

"In that tower over there is a tunnel leading to Blighttown, just follow the path to get there. Farewell friend." Solaire said as he faded away. A hint of gold seems to surround him as he faded.

The Knight of Thorns sat alone in New Londo. The city ruins were submerged underneath the water. Only the tallest buildings emerged out of the dark water. The entire city was in a giant cave, only a large hole on the top gave the city it's natural light. He imagined the city was a wonderful place to live in before it fell.

No one was certain how the city fell. All the texts Kirk read about the city all pointed the city to contain a great evil. An evil that the legendary Knight Artorias was forced to contain, at the costs of many of the cities inhabitants. Kirk assumed that's why the city was flooded.

After a few moments of staring at the city, Kirk realized two things. He had no humanity to bring back to the Fair Lady, that was part of the deal for serving with the Chaos Servants. You never return without humanity to give or something that would benefit the entire covenant. In truth, Kirk realized that The Servants of Chaos was nothing but a ragtag group of men and woman serving the Fair Lady. Mistress Quelaag was there to keep order and enforce the rules.

In a way it was a two way deal. The half spider half woman Quelaag would offer shelter and protection, while the servants would travel the surrounding Lordran for humanity. That was fine with Kirk. He was able to have a safe place to sleep, with comrades many of which whom were pyromancer for protection and he was able to satisfy his own lust for combat by hunting down those who carried humanity.

The second thing he realized was that he still smelled like shit.  
Literally. His armor still had cakes of feces and other waste on him. Being in the ruins offered him a both things he wanted. The ruins of New Londo was said to have many corpses, which he might find precious humanity off of. He could also probably find other people looking for treasures down there also. He also had a lot of water he could use to clean his armor. It worked for him.

* * *

The Knight of Thorns finally managed to remove most of the stains from his armor and body. The stench was gone. He was sitting just on a low shore that touched the water. At first Kirk was apprehensive about getting into the water, he had no idea what could be hiding in black water. The stench was too much though so he ended up going into the water, although he kept his sword nearby.

He was clean. Finally. The nearby torch was glowing blue, the blue light reflecting of his nearly black armor. Keeping his hand on his sword, the Knight of Thorns advanced down the wooden bridge leading to the nearest building.

* * *

Beneath the black waters of New Londo Ruins, a dark figure stirred. It sensed movement on the bridge above it. Around it other dark figures moved in the water nearby. All of them began swimming slowly upward, carefully not attract attention. They resembled a jellyfish as they swam.

Finally they reached the surface. Their hands tightly clinging to the surface. As they emerged, water poured out of their eyes holes and dripped off their hoods. A nearby hollow saw them emerge and charged them. The closest figure reached out with its hand and seized the hollow by the skull. It slowly began applying pressure. After a few seconds the head began to crack, red liquid pouring out. With a quick sudden motion, the figure crushed the head. Blood going in all directions.

All the nearby figure seemed to laugh a silent laugh, until the lead one raised it hand signaling them to be silent. The one in the lead was focusing on the small being that crossed the bridge. It observed that the being was armored and was covered in patches of sharp thorns. The being was still oblivious to their presence.

With another hand motion, the figure in lead gave another silent order. A couple from the group jumped in the water, each other them slowly swimming just below the surface to different locations.

With another gesture the leader ordered the others to the nearby exits, guarding any chance of escape. That left the leader by itself. Pulling its hood even closer over its white mask, the leader silently began to cross the bridge.

:D

End of chapter 6.

Anyone want to take a guess on what the figures are? It should not be that hard. I will laugh if you don't...

Am I the only one that thinks that a Dark Souls/Warhammer 40k crossover would be great?

Feedback is GREATLY appreciated and welcomed.

- _Tokyo Express_

_(Ignore this)_

_Side note- All units from the Imperium I will post any information of use here in side notes. This is the best way to relay information. Fan fiction will be used as a way tI relay special info actually. Otherwise I'll telegram you._

_OII has detected no threats from any other region. Our reach is still not that far, but it will suffice for now. Any teams from OII reading this are instructed to try your luck monitoring all and any offsite forums. If you decide to create a proxy nation, telegram me with its name and which regions it will monitor. You will send me reports on any threats or anything of interest you find._

_Under no circumstances is that nation to join the WA. The risk is too great for that. All others continue with your regular duties. _

_On another note, I suggest momitoring any invasions/raids the Black Riders do, I personally find it watch. Especially the defenders. If they're good, they able to push back invaders. Although that usually results in heavier engagements followed by more invasions. Well at least if they're a committed to taking it. _

_Until next time._

_-The Director of the Office of Imperial Intelligence._

_Ave Imperium._


End file.
